at work today, i participated in our content team’s monthly “writer’s guild challenge,” and as part of it, we were each given a random object to write about and 40 minutes to write. here’s what i wrote about a tree branch.
mnemo_syne: hey, uh, weird question
rindoll12: yeah what's up
mnemo_syne: did you like, leave anything at my apartment on accident when you were over
rindoll12: idk what do you mean
rindoll12: like, if i left it on accident, i wouldn't know???
mnemo_syne: okay ugh fair.
mnemo_syne: are you like
mnemo_syne: missing anything then
rindoll12: idk, like what
mnemo_syne: like uh
mnemo_syne: a tree branch
rindoll12: ah yes me, leaver of tree branches absolutely, how did you know
rindoll12: just carrying around literal parts of trees in my backpack that's me
rindoll12: just a regular old tree part person obv
mnemo_syne: ugh shut up
mnemo_syne: i'm serious
mnemo_syne: did you leave a branch on my couch
rindoll12: no mem. i didn't leave a branch on your couch omg
rindoll12: literally why would you think i would
mnemo_syne: okay well someone fucking did
mnemo_syne: and you're the last person to be at my house
rindoll12: why is that even a thing you think i would do????
rindoll12: .......... okay fair that does sound like a thing i would do
mnemo_syne: YUP IT SURE DOES RIN
rindoll12: OKAY BUT I DIDN'T
mnemo_syne: you sure? not some stupid joke about idk dryads or some shit???
mnemo_syne: not some clever thing about making me think my cat is a tree???
mnemo_syne: not some weird fucking metaphor about trees as a representation of what it's like to be on T?
rindoll12: if it was me you would have known!
mnemo_syne: okay but what about that time you drew a can of PBR on my mirror in sharpie and i didn't figure out it was you until kai told me
rindoll12: i said i was sorry about that!
rindoll12: dammit mem!
rindoll12: you keep bringing that up and it was like two months ago!!!!
rindoll12: and of fucking COURSE kai told you, ze's such a fucking buzzkill who doesn't like HUMOR
mnemo_syne: okay first of all, no, you never actually apologized, you just said "i'm sorry if you got upset" which is not an apology
rindoll12: no i
mnemo_syne: second of all, kai told me because i was fucking sobbing on zir couch worried that i did it while i was off my meds
mnemo_syne: and THIRD
rindoll12: OKAY I'M SORRY
rindoll12: I'M SORRY I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY
rindoll12: cuz of you drinking all those pbrs at kai's party and
mnemo_syne: okay well it wasn't and it fucking sucked
mnemo_syne: i was scared i was having another episode or some shit
mnemo_syne: which is patently NOT FUCKING FUNNY RIN
rindoll12: okay whatever
rindoll12: i'm sorry
rindoll12: i just want to like
rindoll12: be over that finally?
mnemo_syne: cool! fine!
rindoll12: and no i did not leave a tree branch in your house
rindoll12: that's just weird
rindoll12: .... you still there?
mnemo_syne: i am
rindoll12: i really am sorry. it was fucked up
mnemo_syne: it's fine.
mnemo_syne: i just
mnemo_syne: i just want to know why the fuck there's a tree branch in my apartment
mnemo_syne: are you sure you didn't do it?
rindoll12: no. i did not leave a tree branch in your apartment.
rindoll12: that's just weird and also not even funny
rindoll12: so uh
rindoll12: you mentioned you were uh
rindoll12: off your meds? idk if you want to talk about that
mnemo_syne: i don't
mnemo_syne: i want to talk about this tree branch
rindoll12: mem i can just come over if you want
rindoll12: help you figure it out
mnemo_syne: yeah sure