at work today, i participated in our content team’s monthly “writer’s guild challenge,” and as part of it, we were each given a random object to write about and 40 minutes to write. here’s what i wrote about a tree branch.
mnemo_syne: hey, uh, weird question rindoll12: yeah what's up mnemo_syne: did you like, leave anything at my apartment on accident when you were over rindoll12: idk what do you mean rindoll12: like, if i left it on accident, i wouldn't know??? mnemo_syne: okay ugh fair. mnemo_syne: are you like mnemo_syne: missing anything then rindoll12: idk, like what mnemo_syne: like uh mnemo_syne: a tree branch rindoll12: loooooooooooooool rindoll12: ah yes me, leaver of tree branches absolutely, how did you know rindoll12: just carrying around literal parts of trees in my backpack that's me rindoll12: just a regular old tree part person obv mnemo_syne: ugh shut up mnemo_syne: i'm serious rindoll12: lol mnemo_syne: did you leave a branch on my couch rindoll12: no mem. i didn't leave a branch on your couch omg rindoll12: literally why would you think i would mnemo_syne: okay well someone fucking did mnemo_syne: and you're the last person to be at my house rindoll12: why is that even a thing you think i would do???? rindoll12: .......... okay fair that does sound like a thing i would do mnemo_syne: YUP IT SURE DOES RIN rindoll12: OKAY BUT I DIDN'T mnemo_syne: you sure? not some stupid joke about idk dryads or some shit??? mnemo_syne: not some clever thing about making me think my cat is a tree??? mnemo_syne: not some weird fucking metaphor about trees as a representation of what it's like to be on T? rindoll12: NO rindoll12: UGH rindoll12: if it was me you would have known! mnemo_syne: okay but what about that time you drew a can of PBR on my mirror in sharpie and i didn't figure out it was you until kai told me rindoll12: i said i was sorry about that! rindoll12: dammit mem! rindoll12: you keep bringing that up and it was like two months ago!!!! rindoll12: and of fucking COURSE kai told you, ze's such a fucking buzzkill who doesn't like HUMOR mnemo_syne: okay first of all, no, you never actually apologized, you just said "i'm sorry if you got upset" which is not an apology rindoll12: no i mnemo_syne: second of all, kai told me because i was fucking sobbing on zir couch worried that i did it while i was off my meds mnemo_syne: and THIRD rindoll12: OKAY I'M SORRY rindoll12: I'M SORRY I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY rindoll12: cuz of you drinking all those pbrs at kai's party and mnemo_syne: okay well it wasn't and it fucking sucked mnemo_syne: i was scared i was having another episode or some shit mnemo_syne: which is patently NOT FUCKING FUNNY RIN rindoll12: okay whatever rindoll12: i'm sorry rindoll12: i just want to like rindoll12: be over that finally? mnemo_syne: cool! fine! rindoll12: and no i did not leave a tree branch in your house rindoll12: that's just weird rindoll12: .... you still there? mnemo_syne: yeah mnemo_syne: i am rindoll12: okay rindoll12: i really am sorry. it was fucked up mnemo_syne: it's fine. mnemo_syne: i just mnemo_syne: i just want to know why the fuck there's a tree branch in my apartment mnemo_syne: are you sure you didn't do it? rindoll12: no. i did not leave a tree branch in your apartment. rindoll12: that's just weird and also not even funny mnemo_syne: yeah. rindoll12: so uh rindoll12: you mentioned you were uh rindoll12: off your meds? idk if you want to talk about that mnemo_syne: i don't mnemo_syne: i want to talk about this tree branch rindoll12: mem i can just come over if you want rindoll12: help you figure it out mnemo_syne: yeah sure mnemo_syne: thanks rindoll12: <3